Remember how all those times I would write those post about how much I missed my soldiers, especially Jack. Well it has been a year and a half and finally he has come home to me.

I saw him today, most beautiful creature on the planet.

He isn't the same. The army has changed him. Deep down under though there are still parts of him that are the same. It scared me when I first saw him, he lost every single ounce of fat on his body. I remember him being a big teddy bear, now hes just a muscle board basicaly, he does look good though. He doesn't smile much anymore, or crack a joke every minute like he used to, but he still has the same smile in his eyes. I know this is gross but I knew my jack was still in that body when he went to go stick his finger up my nose. Some things never change, but I like it that way.

We were hanging out at our friend Bill's house, just layin on the bed with everyone in the room. There were four other girls but the only one he had his armed wrapped around was me. He has been my best friend since we were 13. I've gone through hell and back with him. There was something else there though, and the first smiled he smiled all day was with me. Is there something going on? I have no clue. All I know is that he won't be a million miles away in Korea anymore, only a six hour drive at a station in New York, that is enough for me.

I need him close, I don't know what I will do if he leaves again. Going every day worrying if he's laying dead somewhere in another country is hell on the heart.

I love my soldier to bits and pieces and forever I will, and he knows it, he knows it..

So this is it. I finished the summer by helping the children I fell in love with, me, not losing as much weight as I had hoped for, yet still, nothing mattered to me more than changing the lives of the little overweight girls that I lived with. I definitly grew up alittle bit. Well, alota bit. I know that wasn't proper grammar so excuse me but it is true, I grew up.

I started school at Ricci's Academy for cosmetology. I couldn't be any happier. Leaving the University of Hartford has been the best decision I've made although I do miss some of my friends. Although there is one problem, I now live at home and it is complete hell. Has my mother not realized that I am now 20 years of age and no longer 13? No, she hasn't, and it is going to be the death of me. If it weren't for my father I would not be surviving. Here is another downside to my new life, I am now a smoker, yearning to quite, which I will do soon I swear to you. It is not healthy I know but that's life, we all make choices we regret.

Anyways,

I am not as miserable as I was during this previous school year. That is a plus side right? I am no longer an emotional train wreck and a lot stronger. I can deal with more and not let myself get as stressed out over nothing.

One last thing to close this short review of my new life, I am falling in love. Typical of me right? But this time.. it is different.

Its the second to last day of Camp and i'm just sitting here thinking.. am I really on the right path? So far I believe so. I know what I want to do and hopefully my mind won't change. I want to be a cosmetologist. Whether it be a hair cutter or a make up artist, I want to do it. I want to open my own salon. Where? I don't know but so far that is what I want to do. Florida still sounds like a good idea, maybe even the famous NYC. I will be going back to school for business after I do my 9/12 months at Ricci's for cosmetology. I really think I am headed in the right direction.

Maybe soon along the line I will finally get to fall in love. I wish it could be like in the movies such as The Last Song, or Dear John, or The Notebook, and turn out to be a happy ending. But thats only in the movies..and in my dreams.